Directions On Dealing With the Deceased:
When dealing with death be sure to wear gloves. It has been known to be contagious. If dying persists consult a physician (only a physician can declare something dead). After an animal has died, place animal in freezer so as to delay decomposition and prevent its unmistakable smell (you may know, it is quite sour) until a burial can be arranged. You can also call someone to take the body away in a bag.
When burying the deceased, be sure to dig no less than 12 inches deep and no more than 18, any less you might as well feed the poor bastard straight to your dog, any more and the light doesn’t get in. But feel free to feed the deceased directly to your dog if this suits you; living things eat dead things all the time, there does not seem to be any substantial difference in the methods of disposal, just depends on who you wish to feed. Do not leave animal in freezer during the holiday season to prevent family encounters with its stiff, withered form. This can be quite startling when looking for Thanksgiving leftovers. If dying persists consult a physician. Be sure to cry. We must cry when things die, its how we know they were alive and that we still are. You may also laugh, this is another way of knowing. You can also just look, just feel, just be there with the death, with other people who are there too. Do not run. This is the only thing we must not do. Dead things cannot be replaced. Each life roles its own dice. Do the best you can; this is all you can do. If dying persists, consult a physician. He may or may not be able to help you. When something dies, you are allowed to love it so much that it hurts you, it may make it easier on the dying. It may not, I don’t know.
Lizards don’t kiss. They can only look at you with one eye at a time.
If dying persists, consult a physician.