Eating Alone

I am the artist and my body is my canvas

You are what you eat, so

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I am a few bags of vegan gummy bears
Considered for too long
Minutes I could have spent
Doing anything else

I am also
A tray of sushi an orange some pop chips
That cost me one third a shift to buy
And no extra worry

But for a few glances in the mirror
Around my fellow self conscious
Brainwashed, burdened ladies
Washing our hands

When I lay down at night
I think of the perfect
Chocolate bar
Sprinkled in salt
80% cacao
Straight off the tree
In Ethiopia,
Where I’ll never visit

When I puke up sherbet
And the toilet becomes a rainbow
I echo my mother
Days before death
In a client’s house puking
Their hard-earned pantry snacks

When I bike past a girl saying,
“I don’t know which side is my good side”
Posing for a photo
I know her neurosis without
Knowing her

I know her lived experience
Of suitors sizing you up
Fitting their fantasy or Not
Admiration is not affection

If I could be judged
Through the kind and
Sunny parts of my
Still young brain
My overwrought idealism
And my human weight
That would be so
I can almost taste it